Going through cancer treatment is a big deal, both physically and emotionally. While you are dealing with a lot, you have the right to feel seen, heard, and treated with respect for who you are. Your identity is important. Healthcare should address the whole you, not just your diagnosis, and you have the right to feel safe in every single interaction. Young LGBTQIA+ people describe how cancer care can sometimes be based on assumptions, such as that everyone is cisgender, heterosexual, or fits into traditional gender roles and relationships. You may recognize yourself in this, or you may not. Regardless, it is important to know: it is never your responsibility to adapt to healthcare, but the other way around.
You choose how much you want to share about your gender identity, sexuality, or relationships. You should not have to explain your identity or what LGBTQIA+ means to be treated with respect. If you want to and have the energy to talk about it, do so. But it is never your responsibility to educate; the responsibility to have that knowledge lies with healthcare. At the same time, we know that many people appreciate it when healthcare staff are open, responsive, and want to understand. You have a right to that.
Sometimes conversations about the body, fertility, or the future may arise that do not truly reflect your reality. In those cases, it is completely okay to speak up. You have the right to receive information and support that feels relevant to you. It is important that you know you are not alone. There are others who have been in similar situations, and support is available both within and outside of healthcare. And if something feels wrong or does not go as it should, there are ways to take further action.
I often brought my girlfriend with me to the hospital and to medical appointments when I was ill. Most people treated us well, but on a few occasions staff asked if she was my friend or sister, and even if she was my mother… It would be so much better if staff asked who my loved one is without drawing their own conclusions.
When I was hospitalized for several weeks, I had a picture of us kissing displayed in the room. That way, the staff could see it and did not have to ask if I had a man or boyfriend.